Before you Leave
by MegDallen
Summary: Whad happened before Serenas departure to boarding school? N/S oneshot story.


I know that Nate and Serena aren´t so popular couple like B/C, but I loved them since I saw their scene in The Pilot. Again, thank so much to my beta Sydney Snape! She´s amazing.

I don´t own Gossip Girl, of course.

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_"I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to savor that moment, to live in that moment for a week. But I couldn't stop it, only slow it. And before I knew it, she was gone. After the door closed I felt like the last person on Earth." (Cashback)_

„Nate…" she breathed. He looked handsome in blue shirt that matched with his blue eyes. Too handsome- _Too bad,_ thought Serena. „I´m ill. It´s some- it´s infectious," she muttered quickly, hoped that he changed his mind about this visit.

„You´re not ill," he said. She looked so beautiful, no shadows under the eyes, no pale shade on her delicate face, no red nose from cold. „Let me in, please," he asked politely and she let him to walked in, with quite, anxious sigh.

He was looking at her, standing few feets from her figure, but she went over, to the other side of the room.

„Serena, what´s happening?" Nate asked with cofused face.

„How can you ask? You can´t remember what we did just four days ago?"

„Yeah, I remember-„ he looked down on the green carpet and Serena quickly interrupted his next thoughts.

„So, that´s it!" she was deperate. He was just standing there and looking down. And he was so quiet, even more than usual. It was heartbreaking, but she knew she have to be strong.

„My life have been one big party, no worries, just fun and- I can´t, I can´t live like that…" Finally, she said everything about she have been thinking for last few days- and nights. Just a few words- _Ironic._

„What?" Nate glanced up now, like lost puppy dog.

„I can´t bear more of this chaos, this crazy city!" she holded head. „I can´t even look on to face to my best friend. It´s the end…" she stoped quietly. „I´m going to go away."

Now, they stared each other with broken faces, full of emotions.

„What? No- where?" He didn´t want to believe these bullshits.

„To Conneccticut, to boarding school," Serena answered and said something that nobody knew yet. „Please, don´t tell it Blair and- nobody."

Nate sat on the cream sofa, running his hand through his hair.

„When?" he asked quietly.

„The tommorow or so… Look, Nate, it´ll be better this way," she tried to explain to him, sinking on the sofa too.

„Better for you or for who?"

„For everyone. I really need a break. And you have Blair and she needs you more than me."

„And what about me? Whom I need more? Blair or you?"

It wasn´t question. Serena knew, but she tried to don´t think of it.

„We were drunk and totally out. We didn´t have to do it. It was so stupid… But we forget and everything will be okay," she started to apologize whole thing.

„I knew you were different girl- sensitive, nice, caring, with fears like the others. No just The Serena, The Golden girl…But now I can see there is something more- defense and denial. I know it, because I held you in my arms and I heard your soft breathing and I felt your kissies and touches- and it wasn´t just so. There was something more, there always been."

Serena could hardly breathing when he was speaking these words to her. She agreed with him in everything. She was looking at his deep eyes and soft lips and she was imagining this lips on hers and as his deep, smooth voice whispering into her ear.

Suddenly, she leant forward and pressed her lips on his. She waited a minute, afraid that Nate won´t repay the kiss and that he refuse her. But he responded. He swiped his tonugue across her lip and then slipping into her open mouth, gently teasing hers to play with his.

He pulled back, calming the kiss, before locked his eyes with hers. Their lips still slightly connected, when Nate spoke.

„I love you."

„I know," Serena answered with closed eyes, holding his face in her petite hands. „I love you too." This time she was looking straight into his eyes.

Nate smiled lightly, almost imperceptible, and kissed her gently.

„Can we go to my bedroom?" Serena whispered to his ear, as she put her hands on his sturdy shoulders.

He smiled again and let Serena led him to the room. She made serious decision, said serious words. This was about to start the new era of her life and she wanted to do this. Do the right things.

When they stoped in Serena´s light-colored, clean and fragrant room, she was unsure about following things. Last time- _or first time,_ they were a little drunk and everything came together so quickly…

„How much time left to us?" Nate made step to her, reached for her cheek, running tumb over it. He said it bitter-sweetly and she wasn´t sure how he meant it, but she _was_ sure, that he didn´t meant it nasty.

„Not enough," Serena answered as she held his hand, leaning into his touch, and pressed her lips to his palm.

Nate sighed deeply, in awe in face of Serena´s beauty and in sharp sadness.

They made a few steps back and they were on the bed. Nate leaned over and kissed her. She closed her eyes, loving the way his lips felt, the way he kissed her, that way that said she's the only thing in this world that matters to him, and it makes her chest ache. She slid down until her head was on the pillow and wraps her fingers tight in his shirt, pulling him down on top of her.

He tugged at the hem of her yellow blouse and she lifted her arms, so he can pulled it over her head, blond locks falling to her shoulders like golden waterfall. She shuderred lightly under his warm, soothing fingers and looking down on his face as he attentively watching her torso. His eyes hidden under his long, brown eyelashes. Serena always loved the way how he sinked eyes. When he was nervous, embarrased, ashamed, worry, concentraded…

„Are you nervous?" Serena asked then, with low voice, as she was rushing her fingers through his short hair.

„Maybe- a little," he said with soft kiss on her temple. „Are _you _nervous?"

„It´s different this time," Serena answered. „You know, we needn´t to do this, as well as we shouldn´t." She let her hands to roaming his arms in easful moves.

He knew what she have meant. The way he looked at her in that moment, those green eyes of his so filled with tenderness, is all the answer she needed.

Nate brushed his lips over hers and she tiped her head, kissing him back, lips and tongues colliding in a desperate need to touch.

Serena´s hands fought with his shirt, her fingers quickly unbuttoning it. Then her hands roamed his upper body, her fingernails sliding over his nipples, scratching the hardened tips lightly and Nate growled.

He presses his nose against the side of her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin.

"You smell so good right now."

Then Nate strarted kissing and nipping her neck and down to her round breasts. She melted from his hot breath even through her bra. He undid the clasp, throwing the unwanted fabric and began to kneaded her, cupping the full, heavy breasts in his hands before he pressed his lips to one of her nipples and Serena moaned loudly, arching her back as Nate took more of her into his mouth, sucking on her nipple, flicking the tip of his tongue over it, licking and sucking her nipples and Serena could feel the wetness between her legs.

„Nate, Nate," Serena murmured desperately in passion and tightened her grip on his nape.

„Hey, I´m here," he said shootingly and kissed her lightly parted lips.

She was bitting eagerly but softly down on his bottom lip, puffy and soft beneath her tongue, as she unbuttoned his trousers and thought she needed this more than he did, this contact, just him- for the last time.

The dark blue Calvin Klein jeans also with the pink panties was slipping down her long, toned legs as Nate moved down the bed, then pressing little kissies to her ankles and up, fingers tracing words he'll never say on the inner sides of her perfect thighs, following with his lips, his tongue. He was teasing her along the soft flare of her hip, the tender flesh of her belly.

"I've wanted to do that for ages," she confesses as Nate was kissing the warm curve of her breast. He could feel her heartbeat racing under his lips, feel the the vibration of her voice, before she fliped them over, so she was on top of him, straddling his waist.

Neverending traces of Serena´s mouth on Nate´s chest, stomach, shoulders, proved how desperately she wanted to remembered every pore of his skin, she traced the line of his spine with her fingertips, as if she was counting the vertebrae and when she teasingly rocked her pelvis against him, he growled deep in his throat. He could feel the heat from between her legs against him and he pushed it up slightly, wanting to feel her tight against him.

When their lips collided, there was no finesse in it at all. It reminded her of the last time. Nate´s hands were connecting with her skin and she sucked in a sharp breath at the feel of his tender, but firm hands on her, finally on her.

Finally, Nate rolled over her and hooked his fingers under the elastic and pushed his boxers down.

"I want you so bad, please," Serena breathed, as Nate moved to cover her body with his.

„Easy, okay?" he tried to calm her down.

She was overcomed for a moment at the size of him, the feel of his strong frame pressing against hers, but after a second, her hands began to roaming, snaking around his neck and into his messy hair. She keeped one hand on his face, and his eyes looked so hurt, that she had to kiss him, kissed the sadness out of his eyes. She let him hitch one thigh up, over his hip, let him drove deeper until it could be painful, but it wasn´t. He moved slowly at first, deep, deliberate thrust, then thrusting harder as her hips rocked and it makes her come apart, shaking under him.

Serena got cozy underneath him, nuzzling at him and trying to memorize his smell. She missed him when he wasn't nearby and too soon he would never be. She was keeping her face pressed to his shoulder, blowing hot breaths across his skin, biting down more than once.

Nate was sure, she had nearly dislocated his shoulder when she pulled him so close and tight while they made love, molding herself to him, sinking into him, afraid to let go. And when he came with her, her name on his lips, what he wanted to say was _Stay_, but he bited it back, collapsed on top of her, breathless and sweaty.

Serena shivered with the force of it, her whole body shaking. She cried out, half sobbing with lust as she came so hard and then she started cry.

When he pulled back, he could saw the tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

„Serena?" he said as he was stroking her long hair. „Don´t, please…" His voice seemed to be full of pain.

„Yeah…" Serena smiled a little and whiped the tears. „I´ll miss you. I´ll miss you so much," she said and she was holding him tightly against her own body.

„It´s like loosing something you can´t replace," Nate spoke softly.

„But you aren´t loosing me," she said very seriously and kissed him on the shoulder.

About twenty minutes later, they were standing next to the main door. Serena wasn´t wearing the jeans. Her cheeks were still red and her body hot to the touch, same as the Nate´s one, as they were holding their hands, fingers interlocked. They were whispering sweet words, like they were just two young lovers, who are for the first time in love and who are going to meet tommorow at the school or in the park.

„I wouldn´t stay, even if you ask me. So, don´t ask me to stay. All I can do is to promise to come," she whispered to his messy hair when they were tightly hugging for the las time.

„Goodbye, Serena," he said and kissed her neck. Then he quickly went out throught the door. And he knew, that he will see her in his dreams and everytime when he close his eyes.

I hope you enjoyed the story. Please review, if you want :)


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